Some douchebag bought Nick's Famous Coney Island and fucked up his sauce, so I decided to work on making my own version of the famous waist-expansion boardwalk diet. It's basically a sweet meat sauce, like a chili made by a drunk diabetic Mexican having a low blood-sugar moment. Don't let that dissuade you, however; it's quite delish!
Prep time: about 10 mins.
Cooking time: about 35 mins.
Est. servings: 6 - 8.
Today's Specimen
Ingredients
- 1 lb. 85% ground beef
- 1 cup yellow onion, diced
- ¾ cup green bell pepper, diced
- ¾ cup tomato, diced
- 1 tbsp. garlic, diced fine
- ⅔ cup pitted Kalamata olives, halved
- 4 tbsp. tomato paste
- 1 tbsp. parsley
- ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper
- 1 pinch (⅛ tsp.) salt
- 2 tbsp. sugar
- 1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
- 1 cup water
Directions
- In a large saucepan on medium heat cook the ground beef until it's mostly browned, cutting it down into small chunks constantly with a good heat-resistant spatula. You want it to be as fine a texture as you can manage to.
- Add the onion, bell pepper, and garlic and cook for another five minutes, stirring constantly.
- Add the rest of the ingredients and drop the temperature down to medium-low as soon as the liquid starts to bubble. Reduce it down to a thick chili-like consistency, stirring every five to seven minutes, which ought to take about 20 minutes.
- Serve on an open all-beef hot dog with your choice of additional condiments, covering the entire dog and both halves of each bun with it.
Next Time in the Lab
Too sweet. And maybe a little too meaty, too.
- Increase the ground beef to 1¼ lbs.
- Increase the green bell pepper to 1 cup.
- Increase the diced tomato to 1 undrained 14 oz. can diced tomato.
- Increase the garlic to 2 tbsp.
- Increase the Kalamata olive to 1 cup.
- Increase the tomato paste to 6 tbsp.
- Increase the salt to ¼ tsp.
- Increase the apple cider vinegar to 2 tbsp.
- Add 1 tbsp. basil.
- Add 1 tsp. black pepper.
- Add ¼ tsp. ground fenel.
