I have John dope his diabolical cat and encase his legs in Quickcrete® whenever I make this, because I value my life. Call off all doctor and lawyer appointments, and be sure to thoroughly barricade all doors if the cops arrive with a warrant and a battering ram, because this takes longer to make than anything else I've ever done, even borscht. It's worth it, though, and if you're a man it proves your spiritual penis is as big as the Italian peninsula; if you're a girl, then rejoice in having just lost your Freudian penis envy.
Today's Specimen
Ingredients
- 1 lb. ground bison meat
- 1 lb. ground sweet Italian pork sausage
- 1 cup yellow onion, fine dice
- 4 cloves garlic, fine dice
- ¼ cup pitted Kalamata olives, fine dice
- 1 cup fresh basil, chopped
- ⅚ cup fresh parsley, chopped
- 16 oz. ricotta cheese
- 1 egg
- ¾ lb. mozzarella cheese, sliced
- 2 cups asiago cheese, shredded
- 16 lasagna noodles
- 1 (28 oz.) can diced tomatoes, mashed
- 2 (6 oz.) cans tomato paste
- 1 (14 oz.) can tomato sauce
- 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
- ½ tsp. fennel seeds
- ½ tsp. salt
- ¼ tsp. ground black pepper
- ⅛ tsp. ground nutmeg
- 2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
Directions
- In a large frying pan on medium heat combine the bison and sausage and constantly break apart and turn over until all the meat is brown and in small chunks. Add a little olive oil if the meat sticks. Leave the water from the bison in the mixture.
- Add the garlic, onion, olives, basil, half a cup of the parsley, and all the other seasonings — except the nutmeg — in the meat and cook for about ten minutes, stirring constantly.
- Drop the temperature down to medium-low and add all the tomato products with the juices and the balsamic vinegar, stirring until the mixture is evenly distributed and cooking until it starts to bubble. Set aside. (Mashing the diced tomatoes ensures that the sauce is thick but not chunky.)
- While soaking the lasagna noodles in cold water add the egg, the remaining third-cup of parsley, and nutmeg to the ricotta and stir and grate the asiago cheese. Soak the noodles until they're soft and pliable, about half an hour for plain and forty minutes for wheat.
- In a 9" by 13" casserole pan layer the lasagna in such a manner: about a third of an inch of meat sauce covering the bottom of the pan, four strips of lasagna noodles; half of the ricotta mixture spread evenly for the second layer, four more strips of lasagna noodles; half the asiago cheese topped by another layer of meat sauce about a third of an inch thick, another four lasagna noodles; the remaining half of ricotta cheese, the last four lasagna noodles; then another layer of the remaining asiago cheese topped by more meat sauce a third of an inch thick, topped by thick slices of mozarella that cover the entire dish. Take care to make the layers even and line up the pasta, and especially to layer the mozarella properly to ensure it melts evenly. There will be a lot of meat sauce left, which makes for great sloppy joes.
- Cover the pan loosely with foil and let sit in the fridge overnight.
- Preheat the oven to 375º F. and remove the foil and coat the inside with cooking spray or coat with a generous amount of olive oil, then reattach to the pan.
- Bake in the oven for 25 minutes, remove the foil, then bake another 25 minutes or until the mozarella is melted and has browned. Let it cool uncovered for 15 - 20 minutes before serving.
Next Time in the Lab
Jesus Mary and Joseph! This bring out the blasphemous Irish Catholic in me, which is a good thing. This is a hearty slab of gooey cheesy, sweet-basil tomatoey pasta goodness with the richness of marzipan and the density of a neutron star. Perfect? No, but damn near!
- Try the meat sauce without the olive.
- Decrease the parsley to ⅔ cup, a third in the meat sauce and a third in the ricotta.
- Top the mozarella with half a cup of finely-shredded romano.
